So last night when I was all hopped up on calories, I attempted a second post in praise of my lovely girlfriends. But the stupid sexist male computer would have none of that and ate it. I'm not bitter.
I also bore forth somewhat about why I lost my mind and a significant percentage of body fat this week. But apparently the computer thought that was just too much self indulgent wallowing for one week.
So, I thought I would combine the two themes with saying, that my dear friend Kallie left this week. It has been very sad for me because we were starting to really get to know each other better, and she is someone you do like more the more you know her, as opposed to that other type of person. I wish I had invested more effort into getting to know her better earlier but suddenly she was all, "see ya" and I was left with the sober realisation that indeed, one should not procrastinate the day of your relationships.
Apart from the fact that Kallie and her family are cool and will be greatly missed, she and Julie and I also worked happily together in the Young Women Presidency (for those of you not in the Mormon-know, this is an organization for all the girls aged 12-18) in our church. She was President, and Julie and I were her counselors. Last Sunday I was surprised with the news that God thought I would do to take over her role. This, of course added to the tragedy of her departure for me. Add to this the fact that Julie is no longer working in YW, and I'm all sad and bereft as my cozy circle has been all kinds of messed with and now I actually have to step up. Egads.
The various logistics and some complicated communication issues surrounding this change (did you know that men really are from Mars? I did not used to think so, but have discovered as much this week), have created, shall we say some angst in my life. Added to this the pre-Christmas hysteria, The Final Paper, the fact that I have 4 kids even on my best day, and as always, the multitude of other random commitments, the lack of sunlight and the fact that I became increasingly malnourished and sleep deprived as the week when on, led to what could be euphemistically be referred to as some instability. The Meltdown came on Sunday. It was ugly and public. Moving and changing my name has been considered. We are still looking into that.
Anyway throughout the drama, I have been so grateful for my Aaron. who truly personifies the calm in the storm, for my family who understand my special brand of insanity from many years of experience with it and know how to communicate with me in Crazy, and for my wonderful girlfriends, who have been ever patient, and kind and supportive even when I had to be infuriatingly cryptic. Apart from probably having starved without their support and distraction through a couple of good meals, I may have gone on a spree of some sort if I had not been able to call them and rant incoherently about my unnamed issues for hours at a time. (If you ever thought it was a thrill to listen to your crazy obsessive friend going endlessly on about her problems, try doing it when you don't even know what the problem is.) Good times. Girlfriends are truly are the bomb, and I have been so blessed with extra special good ones throughout my life, although Julie expressed that better on Saturday.
So today as predicted, with paper done and food on board along with some post-Meltdown putting -it -all on- the- table, type discussions with the Martians, (who to their credit, really do try), I feel somewhat less like a (crazy) stranger in a strange land, and am happy to be able to focus my Freak on fewer things. Because I like to give my issues the quality, focused ,Freak Out energy that they deserve.
It is true that what does not kill you makes you stronger, but in my case, things are more inclined to kill you (and possibly others who may get in your path), without lots of prayer, one awesome guy who manages to straddle planets and still calmly pick up the pieces of your world , and some awesome friends and family who despite struggling with their own worries and problems and sadness, always have time to help you with yours. I am inexpressibly grateful for them all.
Julie, Me, Kallie and Toni officially together for the last Wedneday night..sniff...gulp. ( Julie and I found the juxtaposition of the dark and light backgrounds amusing and appropriate.)
You are going to be a great YW Pres! Give the girls hugs from me. I miss them all - it just isn't the same here in YW without MY girls.
PS - You are lookin' HOT!
Posted by: Melissa | December 18, 2007 at 01:05 PM
One of my close girlfriends just left too and I too had to take her spot as choir director. You will fill your friends calling great because you do wonderful at everything you put your mind to.
And by the way looking hot in you red and black striped shirt.
Posted by: Carolyn | December 18, 2007 at 09:51 PM
you make me cry -- not the hardest thing to do, but -- i miss you and KNOW you will soar with this. xoxo
Posted by: Kallie | December 20, 2007 at 11:31 PM